Finding a Therapist [as a Brat] is a Pain in the Ass

I believe it was summer 2021 when I had started documenting my search for a therapist, doing my part in destigmatizing professional help for mental health. There wasn't anything in particular that sparked my search - One doesn't need to be in the middle of a breakdown to find a therapist. I just felt like maybe talking to one could help me process some things that I am now conscious of having repressed throughout the years, which have affected me to some degree. I gave up...

Culturally relevant therapy is effective in healing people emotionally. Therein lies the challenge. I come from a Puerto Rican household; Catholic, no one discussed mental health issues, and although my parents are "Catholic", they aren't so invested to the extent of their immediate family who believe the power of God could help. In addition to the mental health stigma among Hispanics,

I am also a military brat. We simply did not discuss emotions and we were taught to suck it up or figure it out. Hell, when I had severe panic attacks as a kid (full-on screaming meltdown), my parents had no clue what the fuck was going on, but they never took me to a therapist. I pretty much just figured out throughout the years how to not completely lose my shit when I get hit with that terror bomb. I grew up with a structure that was my "norm" throughout my entire development. Bouncing back and forth between public schools and DODEA on base, I figured I was picked on and didn't fit in because I was weird-different.

If you are or were in the military, or were raised a military brat, then you are familiar with this difference between our lives and civilian. War deployment aside, these differences are part of the reason for reintegration training upon leaving the service. Us, Brats, however spend our lives through high school living this life without so much as a heads-up as to why everything is so fucking stressful or why so many people find this stoic-molded personality abrasive before pursuing civilian independence. It wasn't until some assigned reading for my Masters (Military Psychology) that I learned why I am "different". Imaging living over three decades feeling like you're having some type of identity crisis.

The last thing I need is to be misdiagnosed because a therapist doesn't understand the lifestyle. Because of how easy it is to be misdiagnosed; it was important that my therapist be familiar with military culture. Brats who don't pursue military are kind of screwed in that we don't have access to military therapists and finding a civilian one who knows the culture is like finding a unicorn. I could not find a single one within my health insurance network who mentioned "military" on their site.

Alright. No military. I'd decided to search for someone who specializes in anxiety and browsed through several sites and profiles... I didn't like their profile photos. It sounds silly, but if you like Ms. McJudgy, I'm not going to feel comfortable opening up. I had found two or three that seemed personable and left them voicemails. Weeks later, I left them messages again. None of the three called me back. Ever.

Stigma aside, I can understand why people give up on therapy. You have to:

• Find someone who specializes in your needs;

• Find someone in your insurance network if insured, or within your budget if not;

• Wait for a call back, and for places that are backlogged, an appointment;

• Go in for an evaluation and see if your personalities mesh. You're not going to pour your soul to someone you don't feel comfortable talking to.

The bigger kicker is having to restart the process if you don't mesh with the therapist you found. Other challenges include finding time around work or finding someone who will actually help you identify the cause and effect of your issue(s) and actually work with you to manage, in addition to prescription, if necessary, instead of just quickly prescribing a set of pills and sending you on your way.

It's a funny thing, having pursued a Masters in Psychology with Military Specialization with hopes of bridging that military-civilian gap, but struggling to find any therapists for myself. It's also funny just how many hoops one has to jump through to get into the field for such little pay (unless you have a PhD). Hence the shortage of providers, rise in mental health issues, and rise in prescriptions.

I do still browse the list of providers in my network to see if any were added, and if I do finally find one, I'll be documenting that process.